Figuring out how to go about in the world without sadness, anger, tears, and guilt is hard. I'm told repeatedly from people that it is all normal and I suppose it is all a part of the grief. I find comfort in walking by this bookshelf that I moved downstairs and put all the plants on from the celebration of life. It also holds some of my mom's plants and her high school photo. I'll be honest that these things and other arrangements were spread about my home and that was just overwhelming. I had to put things in one spot to visit when I need, but not have it in my face all the time. Cruel timing also meant that Mother's Day, my mom's birthday, and my birthday all fell within the days/week after her death. I've always been someone who finds comfort in crafting and reading. Those have been tough things for me to do right now. I easily drop my focus. I have found comfort in caring for my plants and planting a lily garden out back.
So, I hope to write this difficult entry and then return this blog to my knitting and crochet work. That's what mom would want me to do in this new season.