Friday, May 16, 2014

Seasons of Life

Where to begin...this blog was set up to support my Brownie Knits & Crochets patterns and business. But, it has always been a blog that shares in my daily life because that so influences my work. It is both a business and personal space. For that reason, I've shared in the successes of patterns and the struggles of battling a rare cancer. One of my dear friends talks about the seasons of life. How you go along and then it all changes, sometimes for the good and sometimes for the not so good. A little over a week ago, my mother passed away. It was a shock and continues to be a daily struggle to accept and figure out this new season. I've been slowly forcing my way back to normal daily actions that just don't feel normal and blogging is one of those things.

Figuring out how to go about in the world without sadness, anger, tears, and guilt is hard. I'm told repeatedly from people that it is all normal and I suppose it is all a part of the grief. I find comfort in walking by this bookshelf that I moved downstairs and put all the plants on from the celebration of life. It also holds some of my mom's plants and her high school photo. I'll be honest that these things and other arrangements were spread about my home and that was just overwhelming. I had to put things in one spot to visit when I need, but not have it in my face all the time. Cruel timing also meant that Mother's Day, my mom's birthday, and my birthday all fell within the days/week after her death. I've always been someone who finds comfort in crafting and reading. Those have been tough things for me to do right now. I easily drop my focus. I have found comfort in caring for my plants and planting a lily garden out back. 

So, I hope to write this difficult entry and then return this blog to my knitting and crochet work. That's what mom would want me to do in this new season.

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